Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Bittersweet Tears


I never thought that I would be crying the happy/sad tears when we got to this point! We are taking our car seat into the NICU today... and if you know anything about the NICU, once you bring your car seat in, your time is just about up (providing Zack passes his eye test today...)!
I am crying happy tears because 3 months ago, Zack was born, and I finally will get to take him home. I am crying happy tears because we get to resume a "normal" life again... OK, that won't happen until RSV season is over :> I am crying happy tears because of all of the wonderful support we have had the past 3 months has been overwhelming. I am crying happy tears because I will be able to hold my baby without asking permission!
But there are sad tears today because we know our time is short in the NICU now, and we have a whole new family in there. Our nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, and all the other staff at St. Mark's have really become our family through this whole ordeal. They have literally saved Zack's life, and for that alone, we are forever thankful. We can't even express how much we are going to miss them!
I am crying sad tears because I have seen a new little family come into the NICU with premature twins, and one of them has passed away. I am sad that we won't be there to help them through their long journey in the NICU. I am crying sad tears because we won't be seeing our dear friends, the Hansen's, everyday now.
I do not handle change very well, so with all that is going on for us this week, I am kind of a mess! I just need to thank everyone for their love and support! I truly believe that Zack has done so well because of all of the prayers that have been said for him, and for us. One day when we tell him stories about this experience, and he will look at the hundreds of pictures we have of him, and he won't be able to even understand the love and kindness that we have felt. So thank you everyone who has been apart of his life so far, we will never forget this!

7 comments:

Emily said...

I'm so excited for you! But sad at the same time. I'm so glad they treated you so well. Hurray Zack!!

Ben and Melissa Ellis said...

I am crying now too! That was beautifully sad. I hope his eye test goes well and that you will be able to hold your baby without permission. We wish you the best and hope your 'normal' life continues to go well.

kristi said...

YEAH!! That is fantastic. Hope things work out for you to be able to bring him home soon. Good thing you have email to keep in contact with the friends you have made there - but I know it won't be the same for you. It's very hard to move on - but we're very happy for Zack.

Josh, Amanda, and Talon said...

Well I know I already told you this but this post sure touched me!! Has me in tears every time I read it. You guys are so amazing. You will still see me all the time so if that is why you are sad, no more need to fret!

The Ericksons said...

We are so happy for you guys. Please let us know what we can do to help once you're home.

Ryan said...

We are soooooooooo excited for you all today!!!!!! You better get your webcam set up so we can have our NICU chats long-distance!! I can't believe we're finally here!! See you in a few hours!!!

Contact: Ashley Mills said...

What wonderful news! I am so excited for you to finally be able to bring him home. I can't wait to see him!!